Sure, all that sexual tension can be fun for a minute, but after years of this, it will be a relief to get it all out in the open. If he does not feel the same way you do, then you need to create a boundary, one that precludes cuddling in undies and other confusing behavior. And you may find that you need to back off this friendship for a bit, to recalibrate. Getting yourself in a situation in which you say you're fine with being friends but really aren't is a recipe for disaster. Another point to consider: He may like this murkiness because it allows him to get affection and validation from two women without technically doing anything wrong.
But, make no mistake. This has made it easy for him to skirt responsibility here. This situation will require you to be honest with him and more importantly, with yourself and be firm in setting boundaries.
Life is hard, but it's better when you're not alone. Sign up for our newsletter and get our Self-Care and Solidarity eBook just because we love you! Skip to main content. He is the first person I want to tell things to when something happens, and the person I want to hang out with the most. Really don't know what to do! I need your help!
You Might Also Like: Obscurity is not serving you well here. Infatuation and love are different emotions that feel very similar.
Infatuation often occurs when you are caught up in the excitement of meeting a person you like, but the feelings often lack longevity. Decide whether to tell them. You may feel the right thing to do is to tell them both the truth about your feelings, or you may think it best that you keep them to yourself. If you decide to tell them how you feel, consider talking to your friend about it first.
Depending on the situation, your friend may understand and step aside. Prepare yourself for things to go poorly if you choose to be honest. While everything may work out, you also run the risk of losing a friend and still not being able to date your crush. Remember to be sensitive to their feelings as well as your own in your decision.
Remember that you have value. Find an outlet for your feelings. Find an outlet that you can use to safely express your feelings without any social fallout or embarrassment. Get your feelings out in words to help you better understand and cope with them. If you feel like you need to cry, you should.
Letting it out can make you feel much better and release tension that has built up throughout your interactions with your friend and crush. Dancing, exercising, drawing or any number of other things can serve as a creative way to express your emotions. Keep trying until you find one that fits you. They can also lead to addiction and serious health issues.
Eating fattening foods and not getting any exercise can make you feel worse instead of better. Look to other friends for support. Having a shoulder to cry on or a friendly ear to vent to can make a huge difference in how you feel when going through a difficult romantic situation. Make the conscious decision to start working on being happy again and take your happiness seriously. When you feel yourself starting to get down, force yourself to think about something different. Take control of your life. One of the hardest parts about rejection or not being with the person we care about is the feeling of helplessness it can create.
Take control back from that feeling of helplessness by taking charge of your life and your actions. Make healthy choices to double up on the positivity gained through taking charge of your life. Choose to eat better, go for a run or something else that benefits you. Open yourself up to new romantic opportunities. Once you are feeling more like yourself again, it may be time to get back on the dating scene. Try to meet some new people and even go on some dates.
While you may not find the right person right away, you may find that you enjoy the process and the opportunities it presents. Making some new friends could do just fine. Be kind to your friend and old crush.
Remember that friendships are valuable. Treat each of them with kindness and there may come a day when things can go back to how they once were for each of you. Remember that holding on to negative feelings hurts you more than anyone else.
What if my friend is constantly talking about my crush and shares details about their relationship that I don't want to hear? If you are uncomfortable with what your friend is sharing about their relationship with your crush, politely ask them not to share so much. If you are uncomfortable explaining exactly why, you might just suggest that you don't enjoy discussing relationships.
Not Helpful 16 Helpful My crush asked me out and I told him that I couldn't date him because my friend liked him. Now I'm starting to regret it. Afew weeks ago she admitted she has been really depressed since she came back and her friends got her into drinking again and she has been drinking a lot due to be depressed. She also admitted while looking for a job she was so stressed she could not sleep.
Which makes me worried she is not thinking straight.
She also puts way too much stock in instant connections. She is an it religious and believe they are signs from God. When in reality it was probably some dude who is good at smooth talking. The other problem is I know who this guy is and he is an alcoholic, drug using jerk but since she is in the honeymoon stage right now she does not know this. I also know they have very different views on topics such as sex. She is no sex till marriage and he is he wants some as soon possible.
She also hid him from me till she decided to date him. I took it poorly, and got emotional cause she picked s guy she barely knew over the guy who has been with her through thick and thin. We are not talking right now. She never replied so I think she is upset with me.
It still really hurts. I am not sure how I should handle this. I know right now they are still in the honeymoon phase but I am hoping it does not last too long, I am truthfully worried she only mainly did this due to her current depression and that instant connection thing.
I do think walking away and not talking is good to get my head straight for now. Delete Report Edit Lock Reported. Respond Your response must be between 3 and characters.
That means you are refusing to see the facts becasue you know what they mean and you o not want to believe them, you do not want then to be true. First, you're known her 8 years. In all that time you never stepped up to the plate and told her what you feel. You once "accidentally ". She was telling you she wasn't interested in you but you wanted to believe it was the distance.
Thanks for the A2A, but I may not be the person you want to answer this question for you. Look, if you love this woman (I assume that she's not actually a 'girl'). Find out what you should do if your best friend starts dating the person of person] dating, because I had communicated my feelings about that.
When she finally DID arrive in country, for a short distance relationship you were unable to make any solid plans with her. If she was interested, she would have made time. She met and went home with a guy she barely knew due to instant connection.
I took it poorly, and got emotional cause she picked s guy she barely knew over the guy who has been with her through thick and thin. You have a similar opportunity to use this woman to achieve greatness in your life. Even a new pair of jeans and a t-shirt can have you feeling like a million bucks. Infatuation often occurs when you are caught up in the excitement of meeting a person you like, but the feelings often lack longevity. The sexist thing to a woman is confidence. She is a bit religious and she straight up told she thought it was a sign. Make healthy choices to double up on the positivity gained through taking charge of your life.